When do you think you really landed on your purpose ? She says, « I love the story. That one that you tell, mention often about making the cassette tape. » And I started to read that. And I started to laugh because I remembered it very clearly. There’d been a guy that was working for me in the cleaning business. And when I quit and went to Chicago, he had been studying the same material I was studying, because we were all studying Earl’s material. And he wondered if I could get him a job there. And I said, « Sure. » So I talked to the company. And he got a job. He and I were friends. I was there a number of years, and I decided I wanted to do what Earl was doing. I wanted to start teaching this. I didn’t just want to work there. I was in love with the material.
And you see, this had been percolating in me for a long time. And I made a cassette and I took it and I went up to his house, and I was really excited. I was going to do this. I remember he was home. So I go up, and I told him I wanted to talk to him. He was my friend. And it was an old Iowa tape recorder where you push the thing in and make a hell of a noise when you pushed it, a big click, and that would start recording. And then if you wanted to stop, you had to pull it back.
I made a click and I mean, there was no editing. It was just ram ram. It was probably the worst production of anything you could ever make. I mean, it was just absolutely awful. And I mean, the sound, it was just bad. And so anyway, I made this recording, and I was excited because what it was doing, it was really explaining what I wanted to do. And I had this image in my mind, you see. Well, I started to play it. Joel Goldsmith wrote a book one time called, The Thunder of Silence. The title of that book came to my mind in the house that night, The Thunder of Silence. I mean, it was silent.
I started to feel so uncomfortable. I could feel what he was thinking. He was embarrassed for me. He’s thinking, who do you think you are ? Think you’re like that ? You’re kidding yourself. Proctor, come on. Couldn’t do that. You’re not like him. He’s a talented guy. I could feel this all. It was probably one of the worst moments of my life where no one ever said anything. Finally, after I don’t know, maybe 20 minutes, which seemed like a year, I shut it off. And I said, « Well, it was, yeah. It was an idea. »
And I worked my way out of the house. He never said nothing, he didn’t know what to say. He was so embarrassed for me. And I’m driving home and all of a sudden, it dawned on me. I’m letting him steal my dream. I made a decision driving home that night, that I would never let anybody do that again. See, he couldn’t do that. I let him do that.
When you set a big goal, big is a relative term, too, some people are going to look at you, and they’re going to laugh. They’re going to say, « Who the hell do you think you are ? » Yeah, it takes guts to win. That’s not a normal thing. I hardly ever see that man. I haven’t seen him for years. Never talk to him. It was like we were on the same frequency and all of a sudden, we were on different frequencies. We have nothing in common, absolutely nothing.
– « I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone. » CC (>>so true)
Thank you Mr Proctor for this audio and congratulations on not giving up after this experience ! See where you are now… You are the best at what you do. Bravo… Bravo… 👏👏👏